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Mike Larsen's Two Years Spent on 'The Hill'

MIKE LARSEN is a comedian and television writer (Grace Under Fire, Ellen, The Drew Carey Show, 2 Guys & a Girl) who spent the last 2 years working as Communications Director for a Member of Congress – and the whole experience deserved this article published in the Huffington Post this morning:

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“Fool on the Hill No More”, by Mike Larsen for Huffington Post

(April 1, 2010)

Today, April 1st, is the first day in two years that I can say what I want. Until yesterday, I was employed as spokesman, speechwriter and press flack for a Member of Congress. As such, whatever I said or wrote was attributed to my boss and, honestly, I don’t even claim credit for half the crap I spout. So, here are some basic observations from two years inside the belly of the beast:

1. Congress is a fairly adequate representation of America.

It’s frightening, but true. House members and senators represent the best, worst and most mediocre of America. They’re health nuts and heavy drinkers; family folks and philanderers; geniuses and Joe Wilson. Granted, women and minorities are under-represented and I have to believe that there’s a much higher percentage of closeted gay Republicans here than in the country at large. But, all-in-all the lawyers, car dealers, community organizers and offspring of former politicians who serve in Congress represent us all too well.

2. Incumbents aren’t the problem, likely voters are.

Seriously, has there ever been a more incompetent pack of idiots than those of us who vote in every election? The one constant that binds every political embarrassment – from Duke Cunningham to Rod Blagojevich to William Jefferson – is that they were all repeatedly elected by likely voters.

You want to vote out the incumbents? Fine, have at it. But what makes you think the dimwits who sent Virginia Foxx to Washington would replace her with someone from our planet? Not to mention the obvious fact that ridding Washington of incumbents is a never-ending chore. Every two years there’s another batch of bums to toss out.

Besides, whatever problems Congress has – swollen prostates, an inability to listen, latent sexual deviancy – won’t be cured by turning the institution over to rookies. Look at the states with term limits, like California, and see what happens to government when your legislators are all virgins and the lobbyists are high school quarterbacks.

3. Hypocrisy knows no party.

It’s hard to beat a Treasury Secretary who doesn’t pay taxes or the Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee who can’t handle money. But for pure balls-out hypocrisy, …. (Full Article Continues on Huffington Post.com)